Anniversary Weekend

Forty-seven years.  Forty-seven!  I can't quite get my arms (or my cognitive abilities) around that.

Actually it's on Monday, March 7th. But Jan is working that day so were going to celebrate it over the weekend.

When my grandparents celebrated their forty-seventh anniversary they were old people. Really old. In looks. In everything.

My parents were not quite so old -- but still -- "old."

But Jan and me?  I suppose I cannot judge. (And our son, Aaron, may be too "polite" to say) 

But oh, how the world has changed since that oh, so pretty "bandmate" entered into my life, and I into hers.

* * * *

Jan and I were active members of a transitional generation.  Her folks were 'old-school' American.

No, I in no way mean that as a derogatory statement.  Just the opposite. They were, honest, conscientious, hard-working people always looking out for others. Their lives were completely centered on their children, the greater family and their church.

Jan was the first of two children in what you could call their "second family."  Their "first family" consisted of two sons raised to adulthood in the stable `50s.  They were, I think, about seventeen and about twenty years old when Jan was born.

Then along came Jan -- a beautiful and mature appearing "woman" by age 13, and reaching the critical years just as the `60s crashed in like a tidal wave on an unprepared and unsuspecting shore.  Worse, she was a gifted singer and a musician. A rock musician.

What were they to do with a daughter like that -- in no way 'prim and proper'? A young woman who her mother affectionately called "my liitle gypsy"? Who wore her skirts barely long enough to cover her underwear and who with complete innocence drove guys (like me) plum crazy.

When Jan and I met her parents were beside themselves.  When she dropped her Marine near-fiance' in my favor they almost died of fear. And when the tension in their home over it became too great for peace to exist Jan, just a few days past her 18th birthday, moved out -- into an apartment with the band -- all guys. Guys with long hair. Weirdos. Freaks. Musicians.

They could have died.

Jan didn't want to hurt her folks. She loved them. I didn't want to hurt them either. I respected them. So instead of living together we decided to get married. That was 47 years ago -- and an entire world away.

Or it will be this Monday.

No one came to our wedding from either of our families. Just our bandmates. What did either of our families see to celebrate? Then, after a short ceremony conducted by a Christian minister friend (who also happened to be a great jazz drummer) we went out to a pub to celebrate. And to start a new life together.

You know what?  It was the best thing that ever happened to either of us. Even our families came to see that. Mine came to love Jan. (How could they not?) Jan's came to accept and respect me. Yes, and to be loving and kind to me too.

Forty-seven years.

Nope, I still can't believe it. My best and dearest friend. My wife now for forty-seven years.

Again I say it: Life is a strange and wonderful thing.

Live it dear friends. Love it.
Do that each and every day.

-Don

_

Just Looking On (Or At Least Trying To)

All the world’s a stage, 

And all the men and women merely players. 

Is second childishness and mere oblivion; 

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.  

Sometimes it seems so.

Shakespeare, in this soliloquy from "As You Like It," sums up human life and experience in seven stages - from "mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms" through the warrior stage. And then the final stage, as expressed above. "Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything." 

Most of us, if we take the time to think (how rare has that become?),  see truth - a sad, sad truth - in those words. 

Ideally, one would think, someone would grow and grow and grow until they became a sage. With wisdom to spare. And to share.

But as sad as the above may be about people -- individuals -- it is sadder yet when applied with equal truth to peoples. To nations. To cultures. To civilizations.

Such as our own. "Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything."

Okay, teeth we may yet have.  To bite and rip and tear.  -Things we seem to do to one-another with greater and great passion. 

But eyes?  No, not if we refuse to see.

Taste? None. At least if we mean (as Shakespeare did not) "taste" as in good aesthetic judgment or high values. 

Yes, "sans everything." Or everything worth holding dear.

When I was still a lad in school, before we got to the study of Shakespeare we spent time studying older civilizations. Greece and Rome in particular. They, we were told, were the forebears of our own. Humanity's shining lights. And Shakespeare, more than any other playwright, understood them. And he thus, we were told, understood us. It was this understanding, as much as the grace of his words, that made studying him so worthwhile.

"How," I wondered as a child, did such great civilizations end?  Invading hoards were, I was told, a part of it.  But did not Rome have the ability to protect itself?  And internal division. Did not the citizens of ancient Greece realize and understand what their own forebears had wrought? How had they allowed even real and honest divisions (much less those contrived) to become so huge -- to so dominate their thoughts - that all that had been built for the the greater good could be forgotten, ignored and left to be laid waste? 

Rome. Greece. Our world today. From "mewling and puking child" to what? From the said "warriors" who fought for and saved liberty and what we call "western values" on the beaches of Normandy, to this; to what we have become today? "Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything." In what? One, two or three (depending how one counts) generations?

Yet, this, it seems, is just what has happened. 

Hilary Clinton. Donald Trump.  The hoards of liberty haters flooding Europe. Hoarding, grasping, raping and pillaging again just as in times past.

What values do such hold and cherish?  Any, apart from self-aggrandizement, huge appetite, ignorance and boastful greed? 

One denies it though it is apparent for anyone to see. Except those "sans eyes."

The other boasts about it so as, one would think, to again return us to our base "mewling and puking" state. But being "sans taste" we instead give cheers of approval.

And the pillaging and raping in Europe?  And in America's own cities by those who are our own?   And what of the stifling of learning and free expression on college campuses and in the media/press?

If you sense sadness in the above you are right, for of the things I most value little seem to remain.
 
Youths, hopefully, will remain more optimistic, than I. Yes, even if having such "hope" is not the same as their being more wise. Hope is, after all,  a commodity worth saving.

But for me there are just the words and wisdom of Shakespeare."Oblivion.. sans everything."

That is how the soliloquy ends.

Some Personal Thoughts About Donald Trump

Okay, I instinctively loath the man. Let me just clearly say that up front. He represents everything in our culture that makes me turn away. Cheap shots. Emotionalism. Egotism. Ignorance. Bullying. The equating of wealth with everything and anything apart from what it actually is: Having wealth.

But on the other hand we do live in a "democracy." -A nation where the government is supposed to be "of the people, by the people and for the people." And yet more and more it has become none of those things.
Who are "the people"? They are the 'everyman.' Not the experts. Not the rich and powerful. Not some politically-created, but otherwise non-existent, singular entity made up of various minority groups brought together by the promise of spoils.
Yet it is the later that has been for a good number of years leading America. And that pretty much equally so under the administration of both the political parties.
Trump is not that "everyman." Indeed I do not even think he has their interests at heart. But then again, neither do those in the power structures: The politicians, their financial backers, their supposed "experts" or the media.
And here is a very important catch: Those "everybody/nobodies" that none of the above gives a damn about are increasingly favoring Donald Trump. And Trump is stymieing all the above mentioned power brokers and all that they are doing in an attempt to crush him and destroy that favor.
Does this make the people "right" or "wise" in their giving Donald Trump support? No. No more than Italy's people were "right" or, as history demonstrated, "wise" when they entrusted their future to Benito Mussolini, the historical figure whose public persona to my eyes most closely matches that of "The Donald."
But what do I know? I don't share the everyman's taste or common viewpoints. I don't watch much TV. I share none of the common passion for sports. I have no particular fondness for today's social conventions or sympathy for any recent cause de jour.
So I sit and watch. Somewhat amused. Slightly frightened. Just as I was when the great masses supported someone else I saw as equally unqualified for the presidency -- Barack Obama.
Is Trump another disaster in the making? I think so, yes. But I am just one voice, one vote - and that is as it should be in a nation of, by and for the people -- plural.
And I have to admit one other thing: That I, like so many others, am enjoying seeing a man who has the guts and the means and, yes, the smarts to give the middle finger to so many who so well deserve it.
There will be, indeed, interesting days ahead.
I only hope we as a people can enjoy them.

Those Who Can, Do. Those Who Can't...

Teach.

Those words, with an additional piquant phrase about those who teach "gym," were quite often expressed by unhappy students during my now distant high school days. How odd then to just have realized now that those words apply to me. And, moreover, that they are not necessarily an insult at all.

Let me explain...

Back in about 2000 the CEO of Ducati SpA, the famed Italian motorcycle builder, wrote me a personal letter thanking me for an article I'd researched (with my wife, Jan's, help), written and published on the web. In that letter he wrote that he'd passed that article along to the company's engineering department where he thought it would be of much value.

My response was basically one of amazement. In a word, "Whaaa?"

A short time later the company approached me again, this time the editor of their website, asking me to write a regular column for the site and also to make contributions to several of their up coming print publications.

Those things I gladly agreed to do. But, again, with more than a bit of amazement at the request.

In a short time -- again, so oddly to me -- my name and countenance was regularly being featured on their home page, and this led to my becoming a bit of celebrity among the "Ducatisti" as Ducati enthusiasts are known.

In 2002 I was invited to be the company's guest at s large international gathering called "World Ducati Week" being held in Misano, Italy, and while there I was from time to time called over the PA system to come to the Ducati Com tent -- often because someone wanted to have their photo taken with me.

Again my response was "Whaaa?"

Of course all this was a lot of fun. But it also seemed so odd to me! Here were people -- some of whom had skills and experience far beyond my own -- looking to be with me; to ask me questions. And then seemingly hanging on every word I spoke.

Why was this, I again wondered.  What was going on?

And now, more recently, something similar has started happening among some in the musical community.

Yes, I am a musician. I've played guitar and several other instruments for over fifty years.  But in truth my playing is, in my own judgment, at best mediocre. Yet my written expressions are coming to be seen as something of some value -- something to be shared -- my opinions of some special worth. And this in many cases by musicians with far greater gifts and abilities than I myself possess.

Again, I had to ask, what is happening here?

The answer, I have come to realize, is found in the quote that introduced this piece. "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach."

And with that realization has come the understanding that the ability to teach is itself its own gift.

Many of the most gifted people in every field do the wonderful things they do with little conscious understanding of what it is they are doing. They sense what needs to be done and simply do it, often with a grace and ease that is completely out of reach of the rest of us.

Ask such a gifted person how they do what they do and they will often just shrug their shoulders or give a look that suggests they don't even understand why they'd be asked the question. "Why, can't everyone?" they seem to say.

It doesn't matter what the field is.  For some it's art, music or dance. For others it's in science or technology. For yet others it's a special skill in sports. Or management and group organization.  For them the mastery of such things just comes naturally and with ease.

And for us?

For us even attempting to master such things is, and likely forever will be, an ongoing struggle.

And it is for this reason we also have come to value people who can teach. People who, though they themselves may not possess those special gifts, can understand them and help explain and give meaning to them.

So, yes, those who can, do. And those who can't?

They teach. There's nothing bad about that gift either.

People, Places, Experiences and Things

One hears a lot of criticism about how materialistic our society has become. How we care too much for "things" and not enough about people.

I suppose there is some truth in that. Especially, it seems, at this time of the year when one sees and hears about people being run off their feet shopping, becoming curt with one-another (or worse), losing sight, perhaps, of the quiet joys that the Christmas holiday once was said to have brought --that of  sharing with friends and family just a few simple gifts, along with much kindness, warmth and encouragement.

But where does the "balance" people often speak of between "people" and "things" reside? Is it to be found in a single way of viewing life? And what about the other joys that are to be found?

Some people, for instance, love to travel. -To experience new things, new places. Yet others (such as myself) generally find greater pleasure in quiet, largely solitary repose; in travels of the mind and spirit more than that of the physical self.

When my generation began maturing enough to finally let go of its youthful idealism it largely for a time latched onto a philosophy expressed in the bumper-sticker worthy statement "He who dies with the most toys wins." The emphasis there and then was totally on owning things.

A generation or two later saw that slogan replaced with another, equally bumper sticker worthy one: That each person should create a "bucket list" of all the places they want to see, and all the things they want to experience, and then check 'em off thinking that if everything is "checked" before they die they will have lived a rich, rewarding, worthwhile and happy, life.

Is one of the above ideas more worthy than the other? Or is there yet some other, perhaps similar, idea waiting in the wings that, when discovered and espoused, will finally be found to be the formulaic answer to true universal happiness?

My answer, based on experience, reading and observation, is no and no. -That the idea of there being one, right, "balance" for every one of us between the material, the experiential and the communal -- or even for any one of us at all times -- is simply incorrect. The greater truth is that life is a journey with many possible roads, some "right" for one, another "right" for another, and maybe both or neither right for any one one person at any one particular time.

I have traveled some, although not as widely as have others. I have been to Europe three times -- and none as a "get on and off the bus" tourist. No. On two of those multi-week trips I spent my time there, in several countries, with friends who knew the local cultures. My third European trip was a working vacation, in Italy, when I was writing and imaging for Ducati.

All were wonderful experiences. But none -- for me -- provided joy equal to what I have found sitting in my own library with a really good book, or in my music room with a guitar in my hand. Or even slowly strolling about my own property quietly with a camera.

I can also say that no money I have ever spent was spent as "well" (if hours of satisfaction and joy are used as the measuring stick) as that I have spent on cameras, on musical instruments, on stereo and video equipment, or for that matter, for a good many years, on Ducati motorcycles.

But isn't my saying the above evidence of me putting too much focus on things? Does it not suggest that I am -- gasp! -- a materialist?

Frankly I do not think such questions, bottom line, amount to anything.  No, to me the more important question is simply this: Have my choices made me, and others I care about, happier? Have they added joy and satisfaction to my/our lives?

A pile of unused "toys" left upon my passing will not have done so. Nor will my having put check marks on some once eagerly made list. .

"Things," "experiences," "friends and family,""creativity," the world of "ideas" - all of these are what make up life and living. And is it not that -- "living"  in the broadest possible sense -- what life is really all about?

An FYI to the RNC

Dear Republican National Committee,

I am no longer so naive as to think that my thoughts matter enough to you to actually be read and thought about, but am sending them anyway, perhaps out of my own  (apparently out-of-date) sense of duty and obligation.

I am a long term Republican approaching my 70th year. I've contributed to the Party, and more often to individual candidates, in every election cycle for as long as I can remember. Not large amounts, but for a person of my means, significant. "Out of my want, not my surplus" in Biblical terms.  In short, I shall do so no more.  The Ryan "Omnibus" bill compromise was for me the last straw. Truly, and I expect, permanently.

Do you know how many there are such as I?  Do you care?  Does Trump's outlandish "success" teach you nothing?

Every election for years it has been the same. Promises that "this year it will be different." But it never is.  Now I will no longer be looking to the Republican Party. I no longer believe we share a common interest in preserving what I value, and  what this country as a whole once valued.

Obama. Hillary. You have folded over and over to them -- and, I suppose, to what you perceive as your own interests.  Not my interests.  Not others like me -- hard working, involved, dedicated to traditional American values such as individual liberty, family, faith -- all those quaint but now apparently to you meaningless notions.

So I am gone.  Republican candidates' election flyers will follow those of the Democrats (and the AARP) into the trash. I will from here on in concentrate on my own personal interests. The things that matter to me and that pay some dividend for expended energy. Books. History. Science. The arts.

Gone. Completely, Forever.

Got it?

  * * * * *

The above thoughts were submitted to the Republican National Committee on Saturday, Dec 19th. As expected there was no response.

The above was also submitted, with permission to publish, to a widely-read national political web journal. There it was read, not only by the journal's Founder and Editor-in-Chief, but by several others of its editorial staff. A lively discussion ensued.

In the end it was decided that it would be better not to publish it, for if such a viewpoint were encouraged, and was to become common place, the election of Hillary Clinton would be assured, and along with it all the damage to our Republic that would/will by course follow.

The journal's editors were not wrong.

Alas (sigh), neither am I.

Trump and 'Roughing People Up'

I suppose I was as "shocked" as anyone when Donald Trump's comment about someone deserving to be roughed up aired. But then I thought about it and even apart from the fact that I know one cannot trust the reports to be accurate as to what was done and by whom, another thought came to mind: That we as a society have come to accept the rudeness such as seen at the Dartmouth library as "acceptable." No, not meaning just polite (few would think, much less say, that), but "acceptable" in the sense that we simply accept it going on and do nothing.

"Roughing up" could mean -- as some have suggested -- a modern Kristallnacht where Nazi brown shirts attacked Jews and Jewish businesses. But the silencing of the these rude, in your face "protesters" hardly means that.

I asked myself how I'd react if I were in a university library and such went on? Or eating brunch at a nice restaurant? Not, I trust (and hope!) violently. But oh boy would I favor someone shutting such people up and evicting them. Yet no one does. Indeed they get apologies, cover ups -- whatever will make them appear to be the innocents they most surely are not.

Trump is not that sort. And although I am anything but a supporter, am I not at least on some level glad?

Vigilantes happen when proper authority does not enforce the law. That is where we are today. And more, the powers that be on every level seem to reinforce such lawless conduct. Apologizing university heads. Pols who turn their eyes away. Media twisting accounts of what is happening. Gutless. Lawless.

That is what got us here. Trump is simply reading the market and doing what he knows will 'clinch the deal.'

No, I do not "support" him in this. But I can see it for what it is. And know where the real blame lies.